I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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