I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
