i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
