direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
