escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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