everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
