My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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