She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
