Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
