Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
love makes seman taste better
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
