By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
