so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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