There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
as a side note pls kill me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
