Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
