I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
