I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
