There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
