Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
