i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Pants are for mortals
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
