You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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