my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
