they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Less talking, more tequila
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
