i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
