You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
