I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize