Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
