I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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