Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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