Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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