I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
