so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
