I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My cat gives me a boner
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
