you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
