Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
