Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
