Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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