I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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