Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
