pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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