We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
