dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
