He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
