Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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