and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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