He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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