You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It's blow job season.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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