feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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