love makes seman taste better
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
