He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Randomize
