Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
