dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i think i have two assholes
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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