Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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