put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I need moral support for this bender
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
