I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
