Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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