Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
