I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
