WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
