During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
