he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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