I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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