do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
