Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
