I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
