If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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