May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Randomize
