i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
